Wow

This is so random to everyone else out there, but to me, this makes perfect sense to write about, only because I'm sitting and watching the Final Performance of Rent right now.

Why are all the good shows closing?

There are plenty of generations of people who would love to see this on stage. Yes, it will tour, and yes, now small companies can put it on if they'd like. But it's not really the same as seeing it on the Great White Way. AIDS might not be our generation's disease like it was for Larson in the early 90s, but it's a survival story. Isn't that message still important?

I truly and honestly blame the economy. It's the reason that only crappy shows are being made each year. No one has extra money to see the fantastic shows, so the have to close because the audiences are only filling up to half.

I don't even bother watching the Tony's anymore, because when a song about farting is considered good music, there really is an issue with the world.

The last good show that deserved the Tony it got was In the Heights.

I know people will disagree, and I've never been to Broadway or seen many shows, but I really think the last good thing created was In the Heights.

I love Little Mermaid. I saw it when it previewed in Denver 3 times. Once at the beginning of the run, middle and end of it all. And I loved it, but only because it had such a deep meaning for me.

I just wish that things would stay open long enough for me to make a trip to NY and see them.

Never Easy

Is it really too much to ask for things in life to just be simple? Seriously, I don't need this right now. I don't want to move. I'm happy where I am. I can go to school for cheap and finally be something more then just an employee to someone else. I want a career. I'm sick of making 8 an hour plus tips. I love my little hovel in the woods, where no one can bother me unless I let them.

I'm sick of my husband not being able to make up his mind. I'm sick of him giving up and doing what's easy. Is he really going to do this every time he's unhappy? Because if he is, he's going to turn out just like his mother. I can't take it. I won't allow him let his own happiness be the only thing that matters any more. When do I begin to matter? When do our vows become a two way street?

When do I say 'enough is enough' and make myself matter to him?

Inspiration

I just got back from seeing Julie and Julia with my mom, which happens to be all about the blogging journey of one young (in my opinion, anyway. I'm sure Julie Powell wouldn't consider herself young) woman cooking her way through a cook book. And it led me to realize that people might actually read this.

I'm going to try and be more diligent about posting. Even though my life isn't super exciting right now, I want to try and remember a bit of my past. Not tonight though.

Tonight I want to sleep. I just felt the need to tell everyone to go see Julie and Julia for a cute movie that will make you love being with your soul mate (even if you are 6' 2" tall).

AHHH!!!!

Why is it when someone close to you has a baby, it automatically makes you want to follow suit?

My step sister gave birth to 6 lbs 3 oz baby Alyssa last night, and my other sister is preggo. And all my hubby can talk about is having our own kid.

I wish it were that simple.

I've got to lose at least 25 pounds before I can even think about trying to go off BC. Getting knocked up on accident is not even an option for me. My lungs are so bad that I will most likely be on bed rest, or hospital bound, for at least the last 2 months of my pregnancy. I will have to have a c-section. The natural option isn't available for me. If I tried, I would kill myself, no questions asked.


So I've started dieting, trying to get myself into better shape so that when we decide to bring another little one into the world, I can actually do it safely.

One of the things you have to keep in mind when you've got bilateral vocal chord paralysis and an airway only a little bigger then a coffee stirrer.

But to end this on a happy note....



La!

And I love my niece, even though I've never met her.

Things Could Get Interesting...

Being newlywed is very interesting.

Most people, when they're planning a wedding, hardly ever think about what they are going to do with their future. They get back from the honeymoon and say, Holy shit, this guy sits and plays video games all day long. Or, why didn't anyone tell me that she can't cook to save her life? Usually, it's a rough wakeup call and adjustment period for couples.

I use to be a firm believer in the old Catholic traditions, meaning no cohabitation before marriage, no sex. But now I can say that I'm glad that my husband lived with me and parents while we were engaged. So once we were married, I didn't freak out about him brushing his teeth in the shower, or the fact that he wants dino shaped nuggets for dinner 3 times a week. None of this was shocking. And it didn't take me long to get a custom to being married.

By no means does it mean that it was easy.

He was laid off his job only 2 months after we were married. And yes, it was only for a month, and we knew it might happen. But the pittance we had taken the time to save over the summer only lasted us a few bills. We had to pick which bills to pay, hoping to hold off collector's until almost 6 weeks later, when his first paycheck came in.

But we survived.

We're really good at surviving.

And now we're close to thriving.

All we need now is a dog and we'll be set.

Well...

Don't let the title truly fool you. Yes, I'm mute, or was at one time. But now I've got a subtle whisper that sometimes scares little children. I've come to terms with the fact that there are somethings that will be incredibly hard for me. That my life will never be as easy as it might have been if I had a voice like everyone else.

I can deal with people staring at me, or laughing as I walk by. It's not really their fault that they don't know any better. After all, most people think that I'm just sick or something.

And hey, high school girls can laugh all they want at me. After all, I never really considered myself one of them.

But I'm digressing. The whole point of this first post was to make sure that the readers didn't end up feeling like they've been duped by a liar.

I was mute, for the last semester of my high school experience. I couldn't talk, at all. Sure, I found ways to communicate. But that didn't change the fact that I would sit in the back of the classroom, knowing the answer, but not wanting to take the time to write it out on the white board. I couldn't really get in on discussions, but although I could give a basic answer, I lacked the ability to elaborate. And joining in on classroom debates about life isn't as fun when you can only add 5 or 6 written words.

So I still consider myself mute, even though now I can talk up a storm. I'm not normal. I never was normal, nor will I ever be normal. But people have been telling me that I should write down my thought and stories. So I figured, what the heck. Might as well fill people in on my humor, and give people a peek into my life. It might get deep sometimes, even philosophical. I'll try to make you laugh when I can. But I can't promise that my humor will always fit everyone.

So people might not read it, but I've taken the time to write it down, so I'm doing my part.